Common Texting Woes: The Booty Text

Sunday morning my friend and I are rehashing our night when she tells me about a text she received from “John”.  The back story is basically that my friend and this John guy hooked up a few weeks ago after meeting at a bar…pretty typical.  My friend took his shirt the next morning, because who wants to walk of shame in their LBD? So, she took some random shirt, told the guy eventually he’d get it back, and peaced out.

Three weeks go by and my friend hasn’t heard from John…shocking.  My friend thought John was cute and all, but she didn’t really have an interest in initiating and figured if he wanted his shirt she would hear from him.  Sure enough Saturday rolls around and at 3 AM who texts her? Yup, you guessed it! John decided at 3:15 AM to send: “Hey I really need my shirt back please”.

Sunday she asked me what I thought about this and if she should pursue it further.  She replied Sunday morning saying “you are welcome to come get it anytime”.  John said “I am not sure why I felt that was necessary at 3 AM”. 

…You aren’t sure John? Well, I am. I’m pretty sure you felt it was ‘necessary’ to get some ass that night and had struck out come ‘last call.’ Needless to say, my friend didn’t get a response to her last text. The obvious conclusion here is that this guy doesn’t desperately need his shirt back; he was just desperate and drunk. If he wants his shirt, he’d come get it. If he wants you, he’d talk to you/see you outside of the witching hour, and perhaps sober.





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