Sunday morning my friend and I are rehashing our night when she tells me about a text she received from “John”. The back story is basically that my friend and this John guy hooked up a few weeks ago after meeting at a bar…pretty typical. My friend took his shirt the next morning, because who wants to walk of shame in their LBD? So, she took some random shirt, told the guy eventually he’d get it back, and peaced out.
Three weeks go by and my friend hasn’t heard from John…shocking. My friend thought John was cute and all, but she didn’t really have an interest in initiating and figured if he wanted his shirt she would hear from him. Sure enough Saturday rolls around and at 3 AM who texts her? Yup, you guessed it! John decided at 3:15 AM to send: “Hey I really need my shirt back please”.
Sunday she asked me what I thought about this and if she should pursue it further. She replied Sunday morning saying “you are welcome to come get it anytime”. John said “I am not sure why I felt that was necessary at 3 AM”.
…You aren’t sure John? Well, I am. I’m pretty sure you felt it was ‘necessary’ to get some ass that night and had struck out come ‘last call.’ Needless to say, my friend didn’t get a response to her last text. The obvious conclusion here is that this guy doesn’t desperately need his shirt back; he was just desperate and drunk. If he wants his shirt, he’d come get it. If he wants you, he’d talk to you/see you outside of the witching hour, and perhaps sober.
I would equate the effort it takes to respond to a text message to the effort it takes to scratch your balls. You do that often and in public. Perhaps redirect that effort to ‘adjust’ your hand from your crotch to your cell phone (wipe it off or something first, please). I mean really, is it that hard to simply reply? It’s not like I’m asking the world from you. I am simply trying to facilitate a discussion like normal people. I mean just because I text you and ask you what you are up to at an hour before midnight doesn’t mean I am trying to wife you up. Stop getting your panties in a bunch.
Guys not responding to a text is probably hands down the most annoying thing about texting. Not only does it make a girl crazy, but it’s rude, and boys, I know your parents, or whoever, raised you better. And if they didn’t, did years of socialization teach you nothing about common courtesy? Being girls, we can’t say exactly why guys often don’t respond, but after some initial pondering and a little observation, we’ve come up with a few insights:
- He doesn’t like you. Now, that may be hard to swallow, but if he seriously isn’t going to respond to a single text you send him, that may be the simplest conclusion to draw.
- Maybe he seriously was just busy. Guys don’t always think like girls. Yes, they do obsess over some things, but mostly those things are beer, sex, and sports. So, unless you are texting him about one of those three topics, he probably did not think your text required immediate response, ergo he forgot. Girls often cannot fathom this, despite having read a ton of articles with titles such as, “100 Reasons he isn’t responding to your text” that list a bunch of has-nothing-to-do-with-you possibilities.
- He likes you and he has no clue how to handle it. So maybe he is trying to be the one that is playing hard to get. It’s not exactly your fairytale romance where he sweeps you off your feet, but, hey maybe he is just scared. Sometimes guys just really don’t know what to say and for some reason think saying nothing is better. Gotta admit, we’re writing a whole post about it, so it works to some degree. We may not have even considered the guy before, but once he starts ignoring us, we feel rejected, and/or insecure. Then we become obsessed with the challenge and equate this to some kind of desire towards the guy (when it’s really about us) a la the drama of “he’s just not that into you”…Wait, weren’t you just not that into him either, until he decided to play it cool?
- He is dumb (this one’s got our vote 9 outta 10). Sometimes guys don’t see the open ended nature of a text, whereas we clearly see a list of acceptable responses. Example: “hey Bob I am having people over tonight if you want to stop by”…no response from Bob. Seriously Bob? You very clearly could have said “Thanks”, “I’ll try to stop by”, “Unfortunately I am busy.” Any of those would have worked. But no Bob, you are just not seeing it that way, and girls, it’s time we accept that.